Memories of me

I've been thinking of photography for a while now. Obviously I still want to call it a hobby, but is it? I've been struggling on all sorts of fronts for a long while, and time has marched by leaving me with nothing and going and doing nothing. I'd like to change that.

Today I was a bit vacant. Normal you say, but not like this. I sat for a couple of hours at least doing nothing except remembering and thinking. While memories are a great invention you can spend to much time in your own head. I did that when I got sick first and couldn't talk. It can be a scary place. I didn't think I had that many regrets.

I have over the years spent many, many hours thinking and remembering, but not giving myself time to make new memories. I've been looking at the past, my past through rose tinted glasses. It may not have appeared it at the time, but I have many happy memories. As I move farther away from the stroke, memories of that horror have given way to more intimate memories of a childhood gifted with magical moments. But everybody says that don't they.

I've had a rough time I suppose. It's difficult to be positive in light of past events, but I need to move forward. But I've spent so long being alone and procrastinating, hours looking inward, that I forget that there's a whole world out there. As an absolute expert in making and believing my own excuses I'm suffocating myself. I want to do something, to make new memories and move forward. With any luck there'll be room for some photos along the way...