The weather in Ireland has been and still is fantastic. I’ve been in the garden pretty much for the last towo to three days..I feel a bit like this now..

All sorts

How about as a country we stop telling people what to do, when to do it, with whom to do it with and how to do it. Let people make their own choices, whether you agree with it or not. Give people a break, most aren't out to get in your face. Everyone has stuff going on in their lives that you may not know anything about, so try not to be an arsehole..

Dentist

Went to the dentist today...

Lotto Biscuits

You know the radio ad where the guy gets asked abut the prizes in the draw, and he’s told there’s a tin of biscuits and a million euro..

What kind of biscuits are they, and how do you win them...?

Remembering

I am trying to remember myself as a child and I can’t. All of a sudden I feel like I’ve lost something valuable...

Definition: Panoptic

I thought that I'd start this blog with the reason I chose iPanoptic and the definition of "Panoptic". First the definition: According to the Oxford Dictionary it's "Seeing the whole in one view".

That's kinda why I chose the name. It's got to do with the fact that there's more to me than simply the outward appearance that most people see, and that everything is open to me, available.
It also relates to the idea that this blog isn't rooted in a particular topic, everything's fair game and can be commented on. Sometimes I don't feel to good, other times I'm ok. I might want to comment on a news or political story, or disability, or my hobby - photography, or cooking which I like to do, and eating which I also like to do. And the "i ", well that's me, as in "me & I".

I'm not going to say that I'm going to be rigid and update this on a regular basis or with everything I do (no one wants to know the details), but I will always be honest at the time I post something. I'm not going to become a serial blogger either, but I don't have anyone to tell my story to (kids), so I feel it's important to get my thoughts and opinions, my likes, loves and wants down on paper as it where, and while the likes of Facebook have their place it's not the forum to post an in depth commentary.

I may just post an interesting link, picture video, or something funny. If it's in the public domain it's going to be used, unless of course it's explicitly stated that it can't be. I might slag someone, or make a comment that could be seen by some as inappropriate. I'm human, my judgement isn't always spot on. And I'm really not interested in negative and abusive comments about me or what I choose to post on this blog. Save it for someone who cares. My Blog - my rules.

So, a little about me. I'm over forty but not over the hill. I had a stoke at thirty five, but it doesn't define who I am. I'm a bit overweight because I don't move too well and I like to eat as I said. I have a condition called Lymphedema, and I also have Ankylosing Spondylitis. If you don't know what they are, educate yourself and Google them.

And now, on with the show..

Time stand still

When time stood still there was chaos. Nurses and doctors everywhere except where they should be. Time stands still. Moving feels like walking through jelly, then it's black. Not the sort of black your eyes get used to though.

Ten years of this so far. Many many dark days still ahead. At times tinnitus overwhelms everything, and a deep headache ensues. Going to sleep nearly always includes nightmares. I've seen things that weren't meant to be seen. Ghosts. They haunt me. They're not of my making but all of them want my help except one. The dreams can be very vivid. Right down to smells. And there's always pain, physical pain. Always.